the best wedding advice for a bride
that no one talks about!
As a wedding photographer I get asked for advice from brides all the time. And over the years I’ve acquired a lot of knowledge about weddings, however there is one aspect that I believe is the most important. It has nothing to do with photography, nothing to do with dresses, shoes, catering, friends or family… it all comes down to 15 minutes.
The balance of power.
At 99% of weddings, there comes a time when the groom is waiting at the alter for his bride. Let’s say the ceremony is set for 3pm. He’s with his best friends, his family, her family and the celebrant. All eyes are on him. This moment is unnerving for all grooms – even the macho men who might think they’re ‘too cool’ for all that mushy wedding stuff. This is where the bride can play her card, her ace, her final move to set the tone of a marriage. And it’s quite simple.
As a bride, you need to be late. YES, you NEED to be late. If you’re someone that prides yourself on never being late, then you PLAN to be late. It’s no accident, it’s intentional and it’s a power play… here’s why. The groom has the option of 2 mindsets at this time.
Mindset 1) “oh yeah, I’m the man, she wants me, I’ve landed a great wife who loves me unconditionally, I’m set for life… btw did I mention that I’m the man?”
Mindset 2) “I’m the luckiest guy in the world. This amazing woman has chosen to spend the rest of her life with me, I love her so much and would do anything for her”
You want him to be in mindset 2.
And all it takes is 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes, from 3pm to 3:15, all his confidence, certainty and assumptions disappear. All his expectations and preconceived ideas of what marriage is going to be like change. Suddenly he realizes “oh crap… she has all the power! she might not show up – oh no, oh God please let her show up… I need her, I need her more than she needs me! What will I do without her? Is this real? What’s happening?"
And as he’s sweating and questioning everything he thought he knew about life, you appear. And he’s absolutely in love. There is no question, he’s yours – and he knows his place.
You have set the balance of power for the rest of your marriage, at all it took was 15 minutes.
What do you think? Will you be 15 minutes late to your wedding?
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